Why does my toddler wake up at
night?
Every parents has experienced the dreaded 2 AM call. You hear your little
one stirring on the monitor. Either you wait, fingers crossed, to see if they
go back to sleep and they don’t, or you run in there as fast as you can to
stuff the pacifier in their mouth before they really wake up. Most babies
are capable of sustained sleep (6-8 hours in a row) at night by age six months.
If you are nursing your child, it may take them a bit longer to achieve this. I
think that it is reasonable that every child should sleep through the night
most nights by 9-12 months of age. Now, every child wakes up sometimes at
night. I view the awakenings as a problem if they are more than a few minutes
in duration, occurring multiple times at night, or resulting in significant
daytime irritability for either the child or the parents.
If your child is having problematic nocturnal awakenings, there are a few
possible causes:
- “Inappropriate” sleep onset associations. This is the classic sleep disorder of childhood described popularized by Dr. Ferber. Your child falls asleep under conditions that aren’t present later in the night (that’s was “inappropriate” means here). For example, you are rubbing his back or holding her; she is nursing; he has a pacifier in his mouth. During the night your child cycles through deeper sleep, lighter sleep, and then may wake up for a minute or two every few hours. If the conditions aren’t present (e.g. she’s not in your lap) she will cry out until you go back in and pick her up. You fix this problem by teaching your child to fall asleep on your their own by having them go to bed drowsy but awake. Sometimes, moving their bedtime later by 30 minutes may help with this process. They may fuss for a night or two but the awakenings should go away in a week.
- Learned hunger. This occurs in children who are drinking a bottle or two of milk or nursing for prolonged periods at night. They are conditioned to expect food at night so they wake up looking for it. If your child is over one, healthy, and feeding multiple times at night and requiring diaper changes, this is likely your problem. If your child falls asleep eating or nursing you may have sleep association issues as well. I recommend reducing the volume of the bottles by an ounce or increasing the intervals between nursing by an hour nightly which should address this. Going “cold turkey” is hard because your child is actually hungry and you need to wean them off this.
- Medical disorders. Many common medical problems are overlooked as a cause of sleep disruption. If your child coughs frequently at night they may have asthma which needs to be treated. Acid reflux can be associated with belly pain and vomiting at night. Obstructive sleep apnea is a very common problem associated with snoring which can disrupt sleep. I would definitely recommend seeing your pediatrician about any of these concerns.
- Environmental factors. These tend to be obvious. Is there a TV on in the room? If so, please take it out of there! Is there loud noise from neighbors or the road outside? Does the child share the room with a sibling or parent who makes a lot of noise? A white noise generator or fan can be useful in these circumstances. If the room is hot or cold (>75 degrees or less than 60 F) it can also be a factor.
Understand Your Baby's Sleep Needs
During the first 2 months, your newborn's need to eat overrules her need to sleep. She may feed almost every 2 hours if you're breastfeeding, and possibly a little less often if you bottle-feed.Your baby may sleep from 10 to 18 hours a day, sometimes for 3 to 4 hours at a time. But babies don’t know the difference between day and night. So they sleep with no regard for what time it is. That means your baby’s wide-awake time may be from 1 a.m. to 5 a.m.
By 3 to 6 months, many babies are able to sleep for a stretch of 6 hours. But just as you think your baby is getting into a nice routine -- usually between 6 and 9 months -- normal developmental stages can throw things off. For instance, when your baby begins to associate bedtime with being left alone, she may start crying just to keep you around.
Here are
some tips for making the permanent transition of a child sleeping in his/her
own bed:
- * Make your child's room inviting, decorated to his/her taste, and
age-appropriate. Consider allowing your child to help decorate by
at the very least picking out the bedding. For the more ambitious
adventurers, give your child choices of a bedroom theme, positioning of
bed and furniture (with your help, of course), and overall look and feel.
The general idea is you want your child to absolutely LOVE his/her room
and want to spend time in it!
* Consider the size of the bed. Some parents move their child to a twin or even larger bed as soon as a child graduates from the crib. For some children, that is fine, but others may feel intimidated or even threatened by its size. Depending on a child's nature, toddler beds can provide a nice transition between crib and twin. These beds often are available in theme designs, such as a race car or castle. Make sure your child can easily get in and out of bed and feels comfortable in it.
* Establish a memorable bedtime routine. The routine does not need to be elaborate; however, it should be something your child looks forward to each night and considers a special time. This can be as simple as reading a favorite book in a special part of the room, having a bath to soothing music, eating a snack and then brushing teeth, singing a favorite song, saying a prayer, exchanging highlights of the day, or even a special bedtime kiss-n-hug ritual.
* Require your child to go to the bathroom just before bedtime. Sometimes its the need to go to the bathroom that then causes the child to wake and then want company.
* Don't lie down with your child, or if you do, only stay for a brief time. You don't want your child to think he/she has to have someone lay down with him for sleep.
* Establish the rule that your child will now sleep in his/her own bed and make no exceptions. Some parents report that it is helpful to build it into a celebration, such as "Now that you are starting kindergarten, you are expected to stay in your own bed every night" or "As a 4-year-old, you will get new privileges! One of those is the excitement of picking the toy you want to sleep with in your own bed every night."
* Don't weaken to crying or whining. If you do, your child wins. Tell your child you are not going to keep coming in for kisses, hugs, discussion, begging, or pleading. Stick to this. If your child leaves the room, simply re-direct the child back without discussion. Show no weakness, or your child will know that this behavior results in a change.
* Finally, even if you are totally exhausted or its an unseemly hour of the night, walk your child back to his/her room immediately if you receive a visitor. Don't over-react or give to much attention; simply say, "The rules are that you sleep in your own bed."
If you maintain consistency and the rules, your child will be sleeping in his or her bed throughout the night in no time. And, you and your child will both get improved shut eye and be better prepared to face the new day together!
I hope that this
help and you get a good night sleep
