The way that Dads play has a very a special role in their young children’s lives. That’s a message that every father needs to hear, and is important for those who are new fathers. It can help strengthen and grow positive, healthy, and enjoyable father-child relationships in all families and that ends up being good for everyone.
Dads tend to be more physically active with their young children. No surprise to most of us, but its
importance to children’s development may surprise you. Young children need
full-body play – it’s good for their developing strength and coordination and
the sense of where their body is in space. Boisterous play helps children sleep
better, eat better, and even think better! Of course, children can, and do,
play actively without an adult partner. But they are much more motivated and
likely to push their physical limits with an adult play pal. What does dad-style
play look like? Often it takes the form of wrestling with dad, climbing on dad,
getting swung around – all things which most moms and female caregivers don’t
do!
Dads also tend to play with their children more than moms, especially when it
involves pretending. Dads are more likely to get involved in the play scenario,
whatever it is, by allowing their young child to direct the “script” and then
following their lead. Moms, on the other hand, tend to do more supervising,
directing, or observing. But even when moms are more engaged with
play, dads’ interactions still contribute in a unique way. In one study that
looked at the impact of dads’ engagement in their toddlers’ play, the
researchers found that the children with more interactive dads, especially the
boys, tended to have higher scores in language and fewer problem behaviors as
preschoolers, regardless of the behaviors of the mothers. In other
words, dad’s unique input made a difference.
Of course, these are
generalizations about moms and dads. Individual parents differ widely in the
ways that they interact with their children. The point is that, in any given
family, each parent has the opportunity to build a uniquely valuable
relationship with their children, and play is a part of that relationship.
Fathers’ play interactions with their children are important for us to
acknowledge and encourage.Dad-Style Play is Not Just for Boys
We also may need to convince both dads and moms that girl babies, toddlers, and preschoolers love and need wildly active physical play with dad as much as the boys! Girls are physically every bit as capable of climbing, jumping, and running around as boys. In fact, in order to stay physically active and healthy through the teen years and into adulthood, they need to establish habits of very physical activity when they are young. Dads have a unique and powerful role to play in starting their daughters, as well as their sons, on a path of a physically active, healthy life.Roughhousing. Horseplay. Wrestling. Whatever you call it, it’s one of the best things about being a dad. I love chasing my one-year-old son, Gus, around the house or pretending that the living room is a lucha libre ring and wrestling with him. No matter how stressed out I’m feeling, hearing one of his big, belly laughs erupt as I swing him around like a monkey makes all my cares go away.
Gus-Dad Throwdown
why is it good
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1. Roughhousing makes kid smart.
This is fascinating:
Roughhousing fertilizes our brain. For real. This kind of physical play
releases a chemical called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) which
really is like fertilizer for our brains. Roughhousing stimulates neuron growth
within the cortex and hippocampus regions of the brain, responsible for memory,
learning, language, and logic. Animal behaviorists have found that the
youngsters of the smarter species engage in physical play, so it isn’t
surprising that roughhousing actually boosts school performance. Who knows? If
your kid wrestles everyday, he might win a scholarship to Yale!
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2. Roughhousing builds emotional intelligence.
Because roughhousing helps
children develop skills in reading the emotions of others—Is he going for my
gut? Or is he going to grab me over the head?—as well as manage their own
emotions—I am not going to hit him in the gut or grab him over the head—they
are well prepared to navigate successfully through the emotional adult world:
reading a boss’s mood, knowing how to challenge a co-worker, being able to hang
with the family during the holidays. Moreover kids learn how to regain
self-control, which makes them more confident in their emotional lives.
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3. Roughhousing makes kids
more likable.
This is true for four reasons.
First, physical play builds friendships and other relationships, and this is
especially true for boys, who don’t gush all over each other, much less say “I
like you.” Roughhousing can be a declaration of friendship or affection not
only for elementary school boys, but for young men, as well. Second, kids who
roughhouse are able to distinguish between innocent play and aggression;
therefore, it helps children develop social and problem-solving skills. Third,
youngsters who physically play learn how to take turns. If they are playing
right, each person will get a chance to chase, and to be chased. No one person
should be “it” the entire time. Finally, roughhousing teaches kids the concept
of leadership and negotiation. Think about the rules that go into physical
games. Everyone needs to agree, which is wonderful preparation for professional
success as well as committed relationships.
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4. Roughhousing makes children
ethical and moral.
Interestingly enough, the
animals with the highest level of moral development also engage in the most
play, especially physical play. One way we can measure moral behavior in animal
play is by observing “self-handicapping,” when the stronger animal holds back
his strength when playing with a weaker or smaller opponent. Humans do this
too, and especially parents, when physically engaging with their children.
When we roughhouse with our kids, we model for them how someone bigger and
stronger holds back. We teach them self-control, fairness, and empathy. We let
them win, which gives them confidence and demonstrates that winning isn’t
everything. We show them how much can be accomplished by cooperation and how to
constructively channel competitive energy so that it doesn’t take over.
·
5. Roughhousing makes kids
physically fit.
This one is obvious. But
physical fitness isn’t just about body strength, say the authors. It involves
complex motor learning, concentration, coordination, body control,
cardiovascular fitness, and flexibility. So free play is going to offer
different benefits than, say, gym class.
·
6. Roughhousing brings joy.
As a species, humans are
hard-wired for roughhousing, so the body and mind are happy when we let it
happen. According to studies in neuroscience, when the play circuits in the
brains of mammals are activated, they feel joy
How to Roughhouse With Your Kids
The beauty of roughhousing is that there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Roughhousing is just spontaneous, improvised play that’s both rowdy and interactive. Don’t think too much about whether you’re doing it wrong or right. Just have fun.Safety first. While you want to get rough and rowdy with your kids, you don’t want to get too crazy with them. Just be aware of your surroundings and keep your kids away from areas where they can get hurt. Also, keep in mind that a child’s joints are prone to injury when roughhousing. Save the joint locks for when your kids are older and fully developed.
Don’t roughhouse right before bed. For me, I have a tendency to want to horse around with Gus right before bed. I’m going to miss the little guy while he’s asleep, so I want to get in as much daddy time as I can before he hits the hay. But just like adults, kids need some time right before bed to relax and ramp things down so they can get into sleep mode. Unless you want a little night owl joining you on the couch to watch late-night TV, roughhouse earlier in the day.
Roughhousing is for girls, too. While boys are naturally prone to engage in roughhousing, make sure you don’t leave your daughters out of the fun. Studies show that girls who roughhouse with their fathers are more confident than girls who don’t. And some studies even indicate that roughhousing can prevent your little angel from growing up into one of those Queen Bee, Mean Girls that psychologically terrorize other girls.
A good way for new dads is to get use to this is doing a kids yoga class or baby yoga classes you will learn about your body as well as your Childs .Also as your little one get bigger and more robust so the play and interaction will increase making the bone stronger and your relationship better which benefits are uncountable. So go ahead have fun
